You Have The Right To Be Here
I am not sure what brought you to this page. Maybe you are searching for answers. You are searching for support, or maybe you are searching for someone who understands. I have had my dark days, and I have had to battle depression in my lifetime. It can make you stay in bed too long, call in to work when you need the money, avoid phone calls or text messages, and forget about your daily responsibilities. When dealing with depression, the only time you may feel able to truly show how you feel is when you are alone, and when you are alone, you may find yourself searching for answers.
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You are not alone.
There is always someone you can talk to, 24/7.
“This is your life
You are not giving up
This is your life
You are not giving up
It is your right
You are not giving up
Because you have
the right to be here”
Charles Mendler, MS, LMHC, CCHt
You do. It is true. You do have the right to be here, and you know this, and this is why you are here. You may have just been searching for a page that matches your feelings, and the specific phrase or statements you used brought here. How long have you been feeling this way? When was the first time you felt feelings of depression or feelings of guilt and shame? If you mind goes back to when you were a child or a teenager, please pay attention, read, and reread what I am going to share with you.
Whoever has hurt you
has lied to you.
Who ever made you feel your life is not worth living
has lied to you.
As a survivor of abuse, I was taught early that I did not matter. I was taught I did not deserve to feel safe, and I learned early that I did not live in a safe world. We do live in an unsafe world, and you have been a survivor within this unsafe world. You were lied to by the ones who chose to hurt you and told you that you couldn’t do what you wanted to do or be happy. You deserved to be treated with love and respect, and you should have been taught to love yourself. Those who abuse their children have a difficult time doing this because it is hard to imagine a child abuser who loves themselves. Anyone who can hurt you can lie to you. You have survived this long, and it is time for you to challenge the distortions caused by those who abused you and failed you.
If you feel alone now, whether because of a break up, friends abandoning you, or you just not feeling as though you fit in anywhere, embrace how you have been able to survive while alone for most of your life. Nobody is in your mind but you. Nobody can tell you more about who you are than you. Nobody can ever love you more than you love yourself. You were taught at some point that you do not deserve love from others, or you were taught it was okay for you to be harmed. These lessons came from someone who seriously and selfishly hurt you, and…
Whoever CAN hurt you
Will lie to you
Whoever HAS hurt you
Lied to you
Whoever WILL hurt you
Will Lie to you too
Whoever told you
You cannot do
HAS LIED TO YOU
ABUSERS LIE
That is what they do
Remember, whoever has intentionally caused you harm has also lied to you. They lied with the act of abuse, teaching you that you deserve to be harmed, but they also lied by treating you in a way that taught you that you do not deserve to be happy. You were taught not to believe in your full potential.
Sometimes the weight is too much it keeps on pushing you down
But you keep yourself up
You keep yourself off the ground
The weight has made you strong and you are far from weak
Now it is time to use your strength
towards a goal that you seek
You feel so mad at the world
because of what you have been through
But this life, it belongs to you.
There is so much more for you.
It is time to get up and break out
It is time to make a change
You have been stuck for so long
A change may feel so strange
But inside your mind
It is time to rearrange
Charles Mendler, MS, LMHC, CCHt
Say this after me…..
I am not DEPRESSION
I am not ANGER
I am not SADNESS
I am not FEAR
I am not my TRAUMA
These are feelings you experience, and maybe you are feeling all of these feelings right now. You are not your trauma, and you are not what someone else has done to you. These are feelings that come through all of us, and we have the ability to let these feelings pass through us. Carrying the weight of these emotions has made you strong, and you are far from weak. You can let go of this weight, and you can use your strength towards you taking positive steps into a new direction. These emotions are not you, so when these emotions come, embrace you have a choice. You can do things to help yourself begin to feel better. You have the ability to soothe yourself. These feelings remind you that you are alive, and these feelings are the reason why feelings of happiness and excitement feel so powerful. These feelings can return for you. You have been fighting for yourself for so long, and moving forward, you can fight as your ally and not as your enemy. You do not have to hold yourself back any longer.
This is your life, and it is your life to live. To yourself, be willing to give. Give yourself a chance. You deserve to be here. Be open to talking things through, contact a trained professional, and be open to talking through what you have survived in your lifetime. There is so much more for you. This is your life, and you are not giving up, because you have a right to be here.
It is okay to get help, reach out to someone you trust, or contact a professional who follows the rules of confidentiality. Letting out what you have been holding in for so long will enable you to challenge the distortions passed on by those who chose to hurt you and told you that you cannot do.
YOU ARE NOT WHAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS DONE TO YOU.
You have survived the ones who harmed you because you are here. You can let go of the weight you are carrying, and you no longer have to live in fear.
YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!!!!
Charles Mendler, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist
